Not so positive experience at Club Sauna – recommendations mixed spaces for cis + trans couples?

On Saturday I went to the gender mix event at Club Sauna with my boyfriend. It was our first time there and we had agreed beforehand that we weren’t open to playing with other alone or as a couple. We mainly wanted to check the place out first and also just go to a sauna.

I actually liked the saunas and the space itself, but the interactions with other guests were difficult I guess.

Context: I’m trans masc, for now pre-op and pre t and naked I read as a women, which is fine for me in that context. Idc. My boyfriend and I are both bi and in our early 20s.

As usual in mixed Events, the crowd felt mostly like single straight men, some gay men, barely to no women and only one other couple.

I spent a lot of time alone in the sauna and felt like I was pretty clearly signaling in a confident and friendly way that I am not open for play: no initiating touch, eye contact, or long conversations. One guy kept talking to me, which was okay at first, but then in the steam sauna he repeatedly tried to touch legs with me after I moved away TWICE and eventually started touching my thigh while starting to touch himself. I left immediately.

Later my boyfriend and I got a private cabin together. At one point I was alone there for maybe 5–10 minutes with the door closed because I wanted some space and my boyfriend wanted to go to the sauna again. People saw that I am now alone in there. During that time people knocked on my door like five times and were just hanging around and did not 2ant to leave from the door. I dont know if the knocking was the same person. Other people nearby had their doors open to signal they were open to company.

When my boyfriend came back and we played together, there was a lot of noise around us and in the cabintes next to us. I dont mind if people listen and Do whatever but we were quiet and idk, it felt weird because when we went outside it ended up being a group of at least 6 men hanging around outside the cabins (and no one touched themselves or anything hahaha) and several of them kept approaching/following me for the rest of the evening. The whole thing felt really awkward.

What frustrated me is that I also had one genuinely friendly interaction, with someone I would have played alone or with my boyfriend another time, who immediately accepted my boundaries like a normal person ans was just nice to be around.

I’ve generally had much better experiences at FLINTA/TIN events, but obviously those aren’t really spaces I want/can/should to bring my cis boyfriend into.

I will go to Club Sauna again but idk im just mad.

Would love recommendations for sex-positive spaces/events that are actually comfortable for queer trans + cis couples.