It was my fault

We broke up because I started being mean the first time around. Two months later she drunk texts me and I see her the next day. We talk, but she is too prideful to tell everyone we are getting back together so we split up again. After a trip she took, she comes to the bar I go to and we date for 4 months. I was disrespectful again and we broke up for real this time. I suck for what I did and I feel like I ruined the perfect relationship. We see eachother a week later and she says maybe in 6 months when I work on myself. It’s been 2 weeks now and I am miserable without her. I need any help or advice.