living with my overprotective controlling family makes me feel miserable.

and it's important to clarify that i'm already an adult (18). they were overprotective from the very beginning, and i feel like i've grown up to be a completely dependent person. or rather, i can be independent, but when i'm around them, i still feel like a little child unable to stand up for my opinion. and it's really hard for me to live next to them now, but i can't move out because they're paying for my college education now (in the major they chose, not me), and i don't have a job. sometimes i think about just leaving home, but to do that, i need to drop out and earn money for rent, and i'm afraid they'll find out about my expulsion. i really think that i need to live separately from them so as not to remain a socially maladjusted infantile person for the rest of my days, but i can't explain it to them. in general, i can't be sincere with them, i'm afraid to talk to them, although I don't feel any physical threat from them. i had to hide everything from them as a child because of their controlling behavior, and i grew up a very withdrawn person as a result. i also have practically no friends outside of my family (currently i don't have a single friend in real life). i wouldn't want to completely cut off ties with them, but i don't really understand how to isolate myself for a while right now... i feel very scared, for some reason... I feel like I have no choice. i'll never be like other people, i'll always be weak-willed, spineless, and downright stupid compared to them. i need to end it all. i don't really want to, i would like to believe that one day i will outgrow this and feel at least a little free and a full-fledged person, but i understand that this will never happen. it's really, really over for me.