feeling alone and lonely

hi

I’m 28, living with my parents and siblings. We’re not close at all. Like me and my siblings don’t talk aside from important matters. My parents naman, we talk but not rlly close to open about my struggles sa work and life. idk. gantong fam yung kinalakihan ko where silent treatment is normal kapag may problem. we just dont know how to communicate.

to add lang din hindi kami sabay sabay kumain, then kapag nagsasabay sabay, they are all on their phones. kapag dadating ka from work, parang hangin ka lang ni hindi ka lilingunin or kakamustahin.

it rlly bothers me na ganto yung family set up namin. naiinggit pa ako sa iba na they have good relationship with their fam. but don’t get me wrong, i’m happy din naman kase yung parents and siblings ko, walang bisyo, walang utang na ipapamana, walang nagrerebelde, basta walang problem except for this one, we dont rlly feel like a family.

i’m kinda sad bec they’re all that I have pero parang wala rin. I dont have friends din, siguro meron isa or dalawa na napagkwkwentuhan ko minsan pero feel ko lagi na lang ako nagddump ng trauma sa kanila huhu so i feel guilty.

sobrang nalulungkot ako, i want to move out but, financially, i cant pa.