Hi I hope it's ok for me to post here

I'm starting to think I'll never be happy I'm definitely not cis but I always have wanted to "be a girl".. but I am allegedly afab..so why do I feel this way? I get called a boy a lot ,I think it's mostly bc of my face and short hair. I'm trying to grow out my hair but it's a slow process. At the same time I hate some stereotypically girly things,like dresses and heels. One time I transitioned to male bc I thought it takes less effort and it's how people see me..so I'll just..be a boy I guess. But that wasn't fulfilling nor is any other identity I've explored. I feel horrible and like there's something wrong with me. Any tips would be appreciated.