Want to take my life

I'm tired of being single since my birth. I'm 27 yo this year and i go to psych ward twice a week. But i didn't youth, i've lost my teenage years and now it's my twenties. I don't know if i can be like this until 30. I don't care about money, about the world itself, i want to love and be loved by a woman. However, i want a woman like me who doesn't know anything in domain of love, sex, etc. And it's impossible, i know. So, i will be forever alone and depressed and a looser and i will kms. It's the only thing i can do