Being the "secret lover" is the only thing that cures my dissociation. It feels like pure, unfiltered physical reality.

I often struggle with feeling numb, weightless, and entirely disconnected from normal society, like I’m just going through the bureaucratic motions of life. But being the "other woman" in my current dynamic feels incredibly grounding. When the door locks, all the official, public rules disappear. There is no societal "admin." It’s just heavy breathing, intense physical gravity, and pure, unfiltered body heat. Being someone’s secret sanctuary strips away the noise and leaves only the raw biology of the moment. Does anyone else find that being the hidden escape is strangely the most grounding, real experience of their life?