Drinking again

Always feel silly writing here but I’m back. I’ve been drunk all weekend alone in my flat which is new for me. Usually it’s just drinking myself before going out socially. I know there is a problem here but I can’t stop it. I’ve never drank before going to work but I’m sat contemplating it for tomorrow. It scares me that the only thing holding me back from this is the fact I work with my mum and I’m worried she would clock me immediately. I like to think I’m good at hiding it as I have been this far. It just makes everything easier. I’ll probably justify it by having a shot or two rather than a drink as that makes it better in my mind but is it really?