I’d Rather Not Have All the Time in the World

I struggle with perfectionism. I read this quote recently which resonated strongly: "leaving [a task] till the last minute is a way of giving oneself permission to do a merely adequate job. 99 percent of the time a merely adequate job is all that is needed".

Perfectionism isn't the only reason I leave tasks until the last minute. There is a dopamine/adrenaline rush that comes from completing tasks at the last minute that simply doesn't arise from diligent work done in parts (1/3rd today, tomorrow, and the day after). I'm left feeling unfulfilled after each 1/3rd session knowing that there is work still left to be done. It is the completion itself that provides the dopamine.

There are all types of ways to circumvent this. Checklists with really small tasks is my current strategy. I use a pomodoro timer to create some task initiation inertia. I attach concrete external events to "fake" deadlines to create a sense of urgency.

These systems manipulate my desire for completion and create a sense of urgency. Both might be necessary. At their core, they combat my urge to procrastinate.

Such that that is true, I realize if I had all the time in the world I would never do anything. If I knew my life was truly infinite, deadlines would have no weight. My life has in many way been driven by implicit and explicit deadlines. Some set by people, like my parents, others by school, and many others by friends. It took me awhile to understand the weight of deadlines set by other people, though, because those deadlines are not communicated directly a lot of the time (for ex. how long is too long between calls or texts?). I think I learned about the subtle indirect deadlines through consequences over time (lost friendships, shifts in communication, etc.)

Don't get me wrong. I am definitely a motivated person. I would consider myself ambitious. I would like to make a great impact on the world. Unfortunately, fulfilling those desires requires action across the board. Action produces information which produces more action, right?

So creating the urgency of action is the path to success, I think. Some people have a more innate/subconscious clock that sets them in action that I may not have but I can create it through systems.

Unfortunately, I am procrastinating some important work by writing this post right now. I will always procrastinate in some forms. Hopefully, I can channel that procrastination into productive alternative work.