how do you know if therapy is actually helping?

After 1.5 years of denial, I started proper exposure therapy this past January. I made a lot of progress with my chronic derealization (which flares up when I leave the immediate area) and I can take 1-2 hour trips in the 3-5 mile radius area (though with some slight discomfort, and only on a good day, and I'm still VERY dissociated 24/7).

Usually I go for an exposure walk until it hits hard, and then I turn and flee lol. My agoraphobia started after a traumatic event which stirred up a lot of related things from childhood. It's complex and very linked to trauma.

But I've been at a bit of a plateau since March. Every time I try to dig into my issues, the derealization sweeps in and I literally feel like I'm skipping forward in time. It's so trippy how my brain takes me out of it. I'm really good at coping with it, I'm just frustrated and I'm not sure that my new therapist is helping that much. They just keep telling me to balance between coping and pushing myself, but my anxiety level hasn't improved in a couple of months. My brain is stuck (I have a very black and white way of operating) and I feel like I need a therapist who understands that. At the time of the event that started all of this, I told myself that I was safe/a certain person was safe, and that the scary events of my past were behind me, and I came out of this really deep shell for the first time in my life, but then that person turned out NOT to be safe, and I absolutely freaked out. It's been nearly 2 years, and in many ways, I've moved on from the situation, but the anxious denial remains. I feel like a beetle stuck on its back, convinced that if it furiously waves its legs around it could actually right itself. Most therapists seem to think it's a matter of time/waiting it out but I've been stuck at a certain level for a long time. I think maybe I need emdr. Like the kind of intrusive therapy that surpasses your immediate defenses. But then another part of me thinks that I don't, it's just that I'm not trying hard enough/applying therapeutic advice/haven't waited long enough. I did emdr once and instead of feeling anxious when I left the immediate area, I felt emotional instead. it was nice.