[Trigger Warning] I feel bad wanting to be loved.

A female friend of mine told me that feeling undesired is a common experience among men. I was desired by someone exactly once in my life, we broke up more than two years ago. I was never flirted with or talked to other than by my ex. I felt replaceable, because she could, and have had so many options.

Ever since we broke up I yearn for feeling loved and desired. I don't have the energy to try though. I hate that I feel this way.

I get jealous seeing my friends get approached or get into relationships. I wish I would just stop wanting love, or I would just die in my sleep someday.

I've got work due tomorrow and I can't find the energy to get up and do it. I want to sleep and never wake up.