4 Months Clean: My Thoughts on Urges and Attraction

Hey everyone, about 4 months ago I went from being heavily addicted to porn to completely quitting both porn and masturbation, and I wanted to share some of my personal experiences and how it has changed the way I view people and relationships.

First of all, I’m not going to lie, this has NOT been easy at all. It’s been genuinely difficult. There were moments where I realized how much I had been using it as a way to escape or numb things without even thinking about it. And now, looking back, I can understand a lot more why people fall into it in the first place.

One of the biggest changes I’ve noticed is how strongly I started feeling my natural sexual urges again. I honestly can’t remember the last time I felt this level of attraction toward women in my life, and to be honest, I still don’t fully know how to handle it sometimes. It’s like everything is just more intense and more present in my mind than before.

I also feel like when you stop, you suddenly become a lot more aware of those feelings without anything in between to distract you. And at times, that can feel pretty overwhelming. Even after a few months, it’s still something that’s in the background of my thoughts way more than I expected.

And speaking of relationships, I noticed something really interesting in myself.

Back then, I used to have a very different mindset about attraction. For example, I would sometimes judge or overthink things like appearance differences between couples without even realizing it. That mindset has mostly faded now.

I realized porn had a much bigger influence on the way I viewed people than I was willing to admit at the time. It kind of shapes your expectations without you noticing it. Since stopping, I feel more grounded in real-life interactions and more focused on actual connection rather than unrealistic or idealized standards.

My whole perspective has shifted over time. Since I used to satisfy myself regularly, I think I had become a bit numb without realizing it. Now it feels like I’m seeing things more clearly, even if it’s more intense emotionally and mentally.

I also realized that what I used to call “being horny” wasn’t exactly the same as what I experience now. It feels different, more natural, more present, and honestly harder to ignore. And I think it pushes you more toward wanting real connection instead of just escaping into something temporary.

I’m still figuring all of this out as I go. This is just my honest personal experience, not advice or a universal truth. I’d genuinely like to hear if anyone else has gone through something similar or noticed these kinds of changes after quitting.