NSFW) Quitting masturbation is so hard. I keep having urges the past 5 days

I used to do it as a kid and it felt good but then I did it as a coping mechanism for anxiety. I would have the worst anxiety and once I did it, I would feel relaxed and calm. But then I would randomly see a scene from a movie or so and go into the bathroom or bedroom to go do it. I used to watch porn a little bit but I never liked watching it. I just do it to online bfs or a character in the movie/series in example like the main male lead in “One Day” the Netflix series lol. It’s just now.. I actually find it hard to stop. I keep having the urge when im alone. I just wanna do it. Im even having dreams of rubbing myself against something..(literally wtf)

And I swear when I started doing it (for anxiety) I forced myself to do it because after it was completed I would feel so much better. I like nearly raped myself with my own hand. I feel the whole situation is worse because I am a girl who has an lowkey addiction.

I keep reminding myself that I usually feel disgusted afterwards and it’s not something right to do (im religious/Christian). I just didn’t realize that it’s lowkey became an addiction. Im about 25 days clean. It’s kinda easy the first 20 ish days but now the 5 days have been filled with dreams and I keep having an urge.