conflicted about coming out to maga grandparents

i am 22 and have been out to most of my family for about 10 years, and all have been very supportive. however, my paternal grandparents still don’t know. they are the maga, voted for trump, catholic, fox news watching type of people. their view of gay people is not favorable. i haven’t told my cousins/aunt, but they probably know bc of social media.

i’m in a long term relationship, and my gf and i are looking for an apartment for this upcoming fall. it’s been a year and a half, and she’s met the other side of my family, and joined us for a couple of holidays. she doesn’t have grandparents left, so it means a lot to her. and it would mean a lot if my other family knew.

i visited this family today, so im just thinking about it a lot. my aunt talked to my mom and offered to let me stay in her currently vacant apartment to work during my gap year (starting in the fall, so the time
period i’m hopefully moving in w my gf). my mom talked to me abt it after we were home, and said “idk how they’d feel about your gf staying there though”…

i’ve asked both my parents what they’d do and they both said i don’t think i’d tell them, especially since my grandma is sick and already stressed. but they don’t understand the regret i’ll feel if i don’t say anything, if my grandparents pass before they know my gf, if they can’t be invited to my wedding, if they don’t truly know me. they’ve met my gf in passing once, but i introduced her off as my roommate (we lived together at college, i wasn’t lying but it felt so awful to say).

im open about being a lesbian, and open about my relationship. i feel very little shame, but the internalized homophobia is there when i think abt my relationship w extended family. and it’s becoming more and more difficult to keep hiding.

advice, personal anecdotes, or just words of encouragement are welcome!

tldr: i’m out to most of my family but not my paternal side because they’re maga. im in a long term relationship so this is starting to feel more relevant, and im tired of hiding it but i feel like i have to.