My life feels empty compared to everyone around me

I’m almost 22 and I genuinely feel years behind everyone else emotionally and socially. ADHD already made life hard enough, but growing up in constant stress, instability, moving around, and basically surviving all the time completely fucked up my development. I never really got to be a teenager.

While other people were making friends, going out, dating, building memories and becoming actual adults, I spent most of my late teens isolated in my room trying to escape my own head. Gaming, doomscrolling, sleeping, repeating the same empty routine every day. The last 5-6 years honestly feel like one blurry depressing period I barely even remember properly.

The worst part is that from the outside I probably seem normal. I can talk to people at work, joke around, act functional. But outside of work I literally don’t have a life. I haven’t properly hung out with anyone in years. No friend group, no relationship history, no “crazy stories,” nothing. I genuinely don’t know how to socialize anymore unless it’s forced by work or daily responsibilities.

I crave connection so badly, but at the same time I feel emotionally stuck at like 15 or 16. Everyone my age seems so much more experienced and developed. They have memories, identities, confidence, social skills, relationships. Meanwhile I feel empty and ashamed because I have nothing to talk about when people ask me about my life.

Sometimes I think maybe I look alright and maybe there’s still hope for me socially, but then I spiral again and just see myself as damaged, awkward and mentally years behind everyone else. The loneliness gets unbearable sometimes because it feels like life kept moving while I stayed frozen in place.