I feel like I will die alone

I (21m) am generally a pretty positive, driven, and happy guy, but sometimes I cant help but to feel like I will die alone.

I’m the type of person who keeps distractions to a minimum and stays focused on my goals, so it’s not even like I’m desperately yearning for a relationship right now. I’m building my life, and I know that’s where my energy needs to go. But even with that mindset, there’s still this underlying fear that maybe there just isn’t anybody truly compatible for me or that even when there is, it somehow crumbles anyway.

Sometimes it feels like I’m doing something wrong, even if I’m not. I’d like to think that I’m genuine, thoughtful, charismatic, hygienic, and reasonably attractive, but I also have my problems, and I don’t ignore them.

I think a lot of my difficulty relating to people comes from lacking a proper support system during some of the most important years of my development. I had to go through an intercontinental move, rebuild my life, and then move again and lose everything I had built. It feels like I’ve been forced to start over more times than I should have had to.

The truth is, I did have a connection with someone over a year ago - my “ex” - and it was something special. I still miss her, and honestly, I don’t know if I’ll ever fully stop missing her. Not because I’m stuck in the past or refusing to move on, but because it showed me what it feels like to genuinely connect with someone, and I haven’t felt that since, nor before.

A lot of people would say that I’m still young and that I’ll find someone eventually, and maybe they’re right. But the older I get, the more it feels like I’m growing further away from that possibility instead of closer to it.

We all know dating nowadays is pretty terrible as it is, but I just feel like I have a compounded disadvantage leading to me feeling like I will be stuck in this limbo of loneliness.

Does anyone else feel the same?