My girlfriend (F32) of 10 years read my AI chats and broke up with me (M35)

I’ve been with my girlfriend for 10 years and she always has been wonderful, supportive and caring. And I loved her.

Despite this I emotionally cheated on her. A girl a new started flirting with me and out of ego I wanted to know if I really attracted her and started flirting back. It was 5 years ago.

Recently she discovered it and it broke her heart but she still gave me a second chance. However she didn’t sleep for weeks.

I was full of guilt, fear and confusion, and I considered going to therapy.

I started having AI chats to dump everything that was in my head. Kind of pre-therapy notes.

I wrote about my doubts, my attraction, my ego, my need for validation, my fears about the future, and whether some issues were real or just anxiety. I also wrote things I’m ashamed of, like comparisons, thoughts about physical attraction. But while writing I knew the problem wasn’t her but me. And writing my thoughts was a first step before being able to diagnose them and trying to heal, in a certain way.

She went through my phone and found those chats.

She read the worst raw thoughts I had during one of the most confused periods of my life. I understand why it hurt her so much. If I had read the same thing about myself, I would probably feel destroyed too.

She broke up with me. I lost the most important thing I had in my life.