She didn't get to see me graduate

My grandma was my mother for most of my life after my mom died back in 2009. I didn't even think of this until I saw a mom walking next to her kid riding a bike with training wheels and I remembered back when my grandma would walk around the same place with me as I rode my bike.

I had a bit of a unique situation when it came to school. I graduated from community college back in 2020 and didn't really walk the stage or anything because COVID. The school offered doing the ceremony in your car, but I skipped out as I wasn't even really proud of graduating with how poorly I had done in my last semester. It didn't truly feel like graduating.

I went back for my bachelor's in Jan 2024 and stayed in the dorms so I could stay on campus and avoid paying a minimum of $200 a semester for parking an hour bus ride away from campus. It was my first time ever living outside the home and the first time I'd not lived with my grandma. A few years prior she had fallen and broke her leg so bad she was admitted for a long time and went to rehab for weeks after. She used a walker ever since and although she could walk fine without it she never walked without it again. She was fine for the most part, but things went downhill during my second semester in the fall.

She went back to rehab, then back to the hospital and this time she didn't leave it. I feel guilty I didn't visit her more often in the hospital, I went home nearly every weekend when she was still at the house and I spent the whole summer(outside of a 5 week mandatory camping trip for school) but I don't know it didn't feel like enough.

She died in the hospital and it hurt bad. I still think about her often, I remember that next spring semester I found my first ever 4-leaf clover and my first thought was I wanted to show it to her.

I graduated with my bachelor's yesterday. Listened to all the boring speeches, walked the stage, wore the cap and gown, everything. I had lots of family and friends there to support me, my best friend watching the stream from states away. I didn't even think about her the entire day.

It wasn't until now that I came home and saw a mother walking next to her child riding a bike with training wheels that I was reminded of her. And then I realized she never got to watch me walk down the stage. I know she'd be so proud of me, she was so supportive of me going back to school even if it meant seeing her less, and I know she'd have been so happy to see me accept my diploma on stage. She believed in heaven so I hope if that is true, she was able to watch me walk the stage from whatever afterlife there is.