This is it

(Thank you if your reading this btw this is the first time ive evr opened up freely atlst some ppl will know how i felt) I just cant anymore i cant take it i wake up at 4-5 am everyday go to my 2-3 hours away job clean 20 rooms a day be a slave bcz im an intern and go back to home just to sleep right away for 6 days a week and i dont even get paid minimum wage and if i quit i cant pass my grade I've been dealing with depression and suicide since i was 10 suprise its genetic and it wont go away i just cant be happy i just cant do it im tired of this loop that doesn't even benefit me im overqualifed i know 3 languages I try to overcome my problems to make my family happy i have good social skills i can deal with problems im presentable and they put me in this department filled with people who gets paid 5x more then me and they didnt even graduate high school i hated my life before i hated myself i couldnt trust my friends i couldnt relate to my family i didn't feel loved im a people pleaser that gets treated like a dog i never been happy i never felt happy sober ive tried but never managed to kill myself but this is it i cant even express the despair i have in my stomach i get overly jelous of people who can sleep whole day who can go to school who can feel human who can have a 2 DAY HOLIDAY I JUST CANT EVEN HAVE 2 DAYS OFF There's no point anymore atleast in the past i could go out, smoke at some random place, cry or sleep until i couldnt thinl of my problems i could rest but no my everything is getting sucked out of me and i wont let myself live like this in a few days when i get everything ready this will be my end and i can finally feel peace and rest ive spent all my life worrying and pleasing other people but this time i dont care

in the end who doesn't want a permanent solution?