My mum died two months ago and I feel guilty because I don't feel sad anymore

[I guess the grief CW is applicable?]

My mum was a very good mum. Of course we had arguments, as do all mothers and daughters, but we had a good relationship, spoke often on the phone and I also visited my parents fairly frequently.

She had been ill for many years (breast cancer), and we found out about three months ago that it had progressed to the point where there was nothing more that could be done. They estimated she had twelve weeks left, but in the end it was just three.

Those three weeks were awful. She lost neurological function at an alarming rate, started hallucinating, her personality did a complete 180, and it became almost impossible for my dad and I to look after her. We knew that she was dying, and in a way we hoped it would be sooner rather than later, to end the suffering for her, first and foremost, but also for us.

But the day she died I experienced sadness like nothing I've ever experienced before. It hurt, physically. I truly cannot explain how sad I was that she was gone.

And in the weeks that followed, I coped but I was sad. I had moments when I cried and needed some time to compose myself. I welled up every time I thought about her.

Everyone told me that life is almost harder after the funeral, when everyone else returns to normal but you are left without your mum. But I've been fine. I think of my mum very often still, probably every hour of the day, but I don't feel sad. Almost... numb, maybe? When people ask how I'm doing, I say " fine", and that is genuinely the truth.

But I feel guilty because I don't think it *should* be the truth. It's only been two months. I feel like I should still be grieving her and feeling sad about everything that's happened recently.