Different feelings I experience

My normal state is kind of sad and usually looking for something to capture my attention to distract myself.

I get into this state where I feel emotionally chained to the floor. It becomes really hard to do anything, and I’m covered in a heavy blanket of depression.

Another state is feeling slightly positive about the thought of ending my life. I start thinking about how I would do it, how I would say goodbye, and all that.

Another one is this sudden rush of panic that overtakes me. As if I am suddenly in danger or something.

Anyways, if you have insight, awesome. Otherwise it just feels good to share this.