Feeling a bit like a failure

I’ve been with my WP for over a decade. He wanted to get married but I always had a sense that something was off. The last October I get a strange text. Calling him a creep. I ignored it thinking it was spam or someone got a wrong number. Then he comes home and asks if I know. I was confused. Then he admitted to me that he’s been chatting with women in dating apps. He swore nothing physical ever happened. I told him I needed time to think. While he was gone I looked on his iPad and saw so many messages and photos. He’s always had a low sex drive or so I believed. But these messages showed differently. Then I check his app purchases and he’s been on the apps for at least 5 years. He’s sexted on Reddit. He even sent money to onlyfans models. I feel the ground move under me. We had intimacy problems but I thought otherwise we were okay. Apparently not.
He wants to work on us. I don’t know what I thought. We go to couples therapy and individual therapy. He gets diagnosed with a porn addiction and I get and adhd diagnosis and an issue with codependency. I start meds. I now can’t ignore the blaring issues in our relationship. He does sporadic work on healing. He gives me full reign on checking his phone. He stumbles a couple of times. I feel my heart dying each day. I know rationally that our WP’s are not a reflection of us and our self worth. But emotionally I keep feeling like I wasn’t worth being true for. He really tries but I don’t think it’s enough. I’m in a very sad place. I feel like I inch closer to the door each passing day. I ask him to tell me when he’s struggling. He keeps quiet. I understand there’s trauma from childhood around that. But I want a future, I want to have a partner I can trust. I want to discuss kids potentially one day. I’m in my late thirties. I’m not getting any younger. I haven’t told anybody about this because I’m sure people would be out for blood. So I can’t talk to anybody about this except my therapists. I just needed to yell out into the void.