Neverending Cycle

My 82 year old mom was diagnosed with moderate cognitive decline about a year ago. Prior to that she’d had numerous fraudulent charges to her bank account/credit cards, was donating to every politician of her party throughout the country (mom believes they’re texting/emailing her personally and she has an obligation to oblige), and had a few instances when driving (getting lost in a new area, hitting a wall in her development while backing out, etc.). Anyway, because this has gotten progressively worse (lack of judgment when under pressure), at the last doc appt her neurologist told her it was time to take a driving test and I should help her with finances (namely have her fraud alerts come to me since I can manage the tech associated with it and so she doesn’t have to worry about phishing via text/email, which has been a huge problem).

Mom has refused to take the driving test and feels I’m managing her financial decisions, arguing with me each day that she’s fine, it’s just “old age brain.” Each day I have to explain her diagnosis to her (of which the doctor specifically said this is not normal decline, there’s something more going on). I wish I could say this behavior is all part of her current cognitive decline, but she’s always been a denialist. Head-in-the-sand is the way she’s lived her life. But each day it’s some version of the same conversation as the day before.

Today, Mother’s Day, she arrives at my house looking for a fight. My son went to pick her up and she complained the whole way how I’d locked her out of her bank account and I was trying to control her money. I’m on her bank account and all fraud alerts come to me, but I do not manage her finances — and the reason she couldn’t get into her account was because she was using the wrong password (all technology has become overwhelming to her). I have been very clear with her that I’m trying to help her, not trying to manage her spending or put restrictions in place.

All that to say, I’m wondering how I should proceed at this point. When she left, she told me she was going to the bank tomorrow to take me off the account. I truly wanted to protect her from missteps but at this point, I’m frustrated. Any guidance from those who’ve been through this is much appreciated.