my parents act like teenagers and I feel like it might’ve ruined my life

im currently communicating with a therapist but i can only see him biweekly, and i have very strong feelings right now so im going to vent on Reddit about it.

my mom+dad both had me when they were 20. they both came from very poor backgrounds: my dads parents were divorced and both of them were abusive, my mom didn’t have a dad and her schizophrenic mother couldn’t hardly take care of her or her sister so she was in foster care for some time. I know these things because my parents have spent years using them to emotionally manipulate and guilt me for expressing unhappiness under their roof.

both of my parents are the most emotionally immature people I’ve ever met in the entirety of my life. For years, they have argued and argued and argued with each other as loudly as they can for the whole house to hear. they would throw things at each other (often glass, which would break and leave hazards behind in the house, I got many cuts on my feet from this as a kid), punch holes in the wall, break doors off the hinges, and often involve their children in their arguments (like, for example, my mom would ask me and my siblings to ‘please come here’ mid argument and demand us all tell our dad how miserable he makes us). no privacy to any of this, they’d do it right in front of us, and the arguments could be about really anything, sometimes things that would be incredibly inappropriate for children to hear about.

they’ve got slightly better over the years, but not really. just recently we went on vacation, and I woke up at 3AM to them fighting with each other in the airbnb living room, where they knew me and my younger sister were sleeping. they were also recently fighting about their smoking habits: dad does weed in garage, mad at mom for smoking cigarettes in the garage, both arguing about the smell. did they ask me or any of my three siblings how WE felt about the smell? No. they made an aita Reddit post About it. I’m fully serious about that.

my mom watches Tiktoks and goes through Reddit and believes basically everything she‘s fed on there. she literally cannot admit to being wrong about anything and she’ll call me emotionally manipulative for just expressing that shes done something that hurts me. My dad is bipolar and won’t get help and keeps having episodes. They’re both abusive and very neglectful, my sister is 5 and cannot read or write because they just give her tablet and never spend time with her. My mom is really playing into this “battered wife victim“ thing right now, but she chose to have 4 kids with my dad and was his enabler constantly just up until last year, and also frequently participates in the same abusive behaviors that he does.

They have 0 savings for me (mom keeps encouraging me to take student loans…), have taught me 0 valuable life skills, and I deal with what I would consider to be semi serious mental health issues because of them. i have been dealing with homicidal ideations since the age of 11, I believe as a direct result of their behavior. but I don’t know yeah I just needed to dump