I’m so hurt by what my mom said to me today

As you all probably know, today is Mother’s Day. I’m 27(f) and I have a sister who’s 23(f). I live around 20-25 mins from my mom in my house with my boyfriend. My sister still lives at home with mom.

My life has kind of been a mess lately. I’m in between jobs and have been “going through it” for a while now with work especially. My mom and I are extremely close. We talk pretty much every day and she’s always been my rock. We talk about everything.

I will admit that I forgot this weekend was Mother’s Day until maybe Friday? My sister texted me to remind me and said she was going to get mum a bird feeder she’s really been wanting, from us and our partners. I had plans Friday and Saturday this weekend and I didn’t really think to text anyone to make plans, I’ve just always gone over to mum’s either for supper and/or after to hangout.

I texted her happy Mother’s Day today and didn’t get a response. I texted maybe 1-2 hours later and said “what are you up to?” - no response. I texted again around 4:00 and said I’ll be heading over soon to hangout”. I just wasn’t sure what the plan was.

I got another message maybe 30 mins later. It filled the screen and then some. It wasn’t just that I dropped the ball today, but I’ve *been* dropping it. She went on about how she feels unappreciated and unloved. She’s been a failure as a parent since the divorce (over 10 years ago) and she’s seeing all of these posts and pictures of mom’s being appreciated and she doesn’t get any of that. To her, she has “one day” to be overly appreciated and she didn’t get that - apparently she “never does” and she’s “so over it”. She told me she’d rather be alone today and to not bother coming over but she “appreciates the offer.”

I’m not trying to make this about me, but I’ve just been crying and overthinking how to go about this since she sent it to me. I’ve accepted the fact that I messed up this weekend and I didn’t put in the effort that my mom deserves… but to come back and say that no one loves or appreciates her just seems like the deepest manipulation tactic, and it’s working. It’s doing exactly what I think she wanted it to.

At the end of the day, I’m just heartbroken. I didn’t see my mom today and she’s clearly upset but it feels like more than just this weekend built up. What can you do about that in one day? I’m drafting a message to send but I’ve decided I can’t send it until late tonight/tomorrow because I don’t want to make things worse.

I know this post gives very little context to the situation. But I want to make it clear that my mom is my best friend, so reading her message was very out of the blue and just shocking to me. Maybe she’s stressed about my current situation; and It broke my heart but at the same time I feel that she’s hurting so am unsure how to go about it.

How would you deal with this moving forward?