Even men that seem progressive or feminist still expect to be at the center

Something I’ve noticed is that just because a man identifies as a feminist and/or progressive, I can’t ignore that there are still ways in which patriarchal conditioning shows up.
When I met my husband I really loved that he was progressive and didn’t abide to traditional gender roles. But since we got married and moved in together I’ve noticed that some of his expectations of a nesting partner sound like the woman taking on most of the household work and some tasks that sound like something a personal assistant would do.
I have found myself really fighting that conditioning because I came from a previous marriage in which I took on all the household labor plus emotional labor of parenting and keeping the relationship afloat. I never want to end up there again.
So when these things come up I really fight it! I have to say no, I’m not doing that. It’s been more of a disappointment than anything because I wasn’t expecting those kinds of demands from him.
I’ve also noticed some things that my male friends who are progressive say that make me cringe. All that to say that most men still expect to be at the center of everything regardless of political views and so on. We have to keep being intentional about decentering them.