why me tho lol

im 16. my dad is dead. my mother has bipolar disorder and is an alcoholic and is extremely abusiv. my grandma has dementia. i have ocd and many other men illnesse. i have no friends at school, and i did have friends, they all hate me and constantly make me feel like an alien. should i finally do it? i dont even feel real. i just want someone to vent too.