Resentment and guilt for leaving a 10-year friendship

Hello, this has been eating me up since then but I hope a kind stranger can read my story.

Last year, my almost 10-year friendship with one of my best friends ended due to her feeling one-sided in our friendship. I never knew she felt like this and wished she communicated earlier since I tried to reach out to her a few times and the response I got was her distancing herself and saying she was “busy with work”. However, I’m not surprised she felt like that because there are times where she tried to invite me to events that are completely out of my comfort zone such as partying, swimming, or activities that look like the perfect friendship group in those IG reels or photos. For the longest time, I felt like I wasn’t capable to be in this friend group because they were two pretty thin girls while I was overweight who struggled with extreme body dysmorphia and depression. I don’t blame them in anyway but I felt bad that I never had the confidence to join them in a lot of activities and found myself distancing to focus in school instead.

Aside from that, my other best friend says she’s neutral and doesn’t choose sides however this year I see them hang out a lot together. A part of me feels like she has chosen a side especially we haven’t talked since January. I know I could probably reach out. However, it’s hard due to me feeling like they talked bad about me behind my back for being in a new interracial relationship. I know better communication could’ve been done in both parties but am I in the wrong for no longer reaching out to either of them and leaving this friendship? It sucks especially I cared a lot for them for 10-years.

Any advice is appreciated. Thank you.