Do I suffer from dissociative identity disorder or not?

I experienced repeated trauma throughout my life, resulting in gaps in my memory. A year ago, I started remembering things and began trauma therapy sessions. My family noticed behaviors and actions I do without realizing it; sometimes I would remember them as dreams or Illusion. I didn't pay much attention to it until I remembered things like drinking cleansing fluid, taking medications, vomiting or other things. After that, my doctor referred me to a specialist in dissociative disorders. I haven't finished my sessions and I can't go anytime soon, but sometimes I feel like I'm lying or living in a fantasy and illusion, perhaps because when I confront someone who has assault me, they say I'm imagining things and that nothing happened. I try to communicate with my characters and write to them. Sometimes I use ai to better understand my condition, but I don't like relying on it. I want resources, books, or help from someone who can help me understand this disorder. I feel confused, and sometimes I can't believe I have it.What should I do temporarily until I can complete my therapy sessions?