Trying to come to terms with the fact I probably can't recover by myself

This is the 4th year I have been in recovery. To be honest I can't call it recovery because I haven't been trying enough. For the first 2 years it was forced recovery because I was a minor. But the other two was all up to me. I have been trying by myself for 2 years. I really tried. But I just can't. My case is a bit complex. I am autistic. I have had ARFID since I was 5. Anorexia at 16/17. These 3 conditions clash with eachother so much. I feel like I need professional help. But I worry that they will think I'm not motivated enough. I do want to get better. And I will try to get better. But they also have to understand it is really hard when you have been living with it for years, and it becomes part of your identity. I don't know who is me and who is ana.

If I just had Anorexia, I really would try to do it on my own. But because of the other conditions that overlap it feels impossible.

I guess I'm asking for validation. It would be a good idea to ask for help, right?