How selfish is a “catholic gap” really?

Explanation for anyone who isn’t familiar with the concept: In a lot of European cultures, when a couple marry at a Catholic Church they are traditionally forced to have a morning/early afternoon wedding ceremony to not impose on the church’s scheduled mass activities later in the day. This creates a time gap of about 2-5 hours between the ceremony and the evening reception, so families are expected to arrive to witness the marriage, go home for a few hours, and arrive again at a different venue in the evening for the reception.

I have to preface this by saying that my partner and I are not religious at all, BUT having grown up in a catholic family on both sides, it’s the wedding set up I’m used to and actually enjoy. I love that I can go home, undress, eat lunch, and mentally reset before going out again. It’s like a built in social battery recharge!

Despite us not planning on marrying in a church at all or abiding by any other catholic traditions, I am in love with the concept of a large time gap between events as an autistic person. A wedding is an extremely draining experience for me even as a guest, and I cannot imagine feeling well on my big day if I don’t get a few hours just to myself at some point amongst it all.

My boyfriend (who I suspect is also ND) is a fan of the idea too, but has concerns about it inconveniencing our guests which I completely understand. I am a big people pleaser and despite it being “our” day, the idea of anyone feeling put out by the schedule horrifies me.

So to put it frankly I’m at an impasse. The time gap is bordering on a non negotiable for me because;

1. Autistic rigidity, this is the routine I’ve grown up with, and any weddings I’ve attended without it, I haven’t really cared for.
2. I want a big wedding with all the bells and whistles to appease my childhood dreams (I know, I’m crazy lol.) but I know Itll be difficult to achieve a day that big without some kind of decompression between the events.

How selfish would I be to inconvenience everyone like this? Do I suck it up and burn myself out on the day just to avoid treading on anyone else’s feet? If you have done this yourself, please suggest tips for getting through the day, I would love to hear how you navigated your wedding day without a long pause between events.

Please do not suggest scaling back the wedding! I know that a smaller compromise is the logical solution to my dilemma but please understand that as an Autistic person this day has been something I’ve hyper fixated on my entire life and a one-and-done day is not for me and my partner (as beautiful and intimate as they are!)