I've lost my Father last night

I still haven't fully realized what happened.

My father has been a drinker since his teens. He was sober three years then relapsed in February. He relapsed a second time two weeks ago. He kept talking about being suicidal but he's threatened many times before simply to scare me.

He's both my most hated and loved human.

And last night he hanged himself. I had just come back from a week in the mental hospital because I myself was (no longer am) suicidal.

I don't know what to do. I don't know how to ever find back to life. I'm a teen and I still need my father so much.