I built a completely false identity and lied to everyone about who I am for years

I've lied about nearly every major fact of my life to the people around me. Not small lies. A full false identity.

I told people I was a post-bac, nearly a clinician. The truth is I struggled so badly with sciences that I got dropped from community college even after receiving bursaries. I don't have a bachelor's degree. I wanted to belong so bad I had to make fictions about my timeline too.

I told people I run a profitable company. It's a nonprofit that makes no money. No revenue, no real structure. Just an idea floating around.

I lied about my religion. I know exactly where I come from, but I was scared of being associated with beliefs assigned to me at birth that don't reflect my values. So I claimed to belong to a different group entirely.

I stole clothes from thrift stores. I've stopped, but I did it.

I gambled five figures into risky investments and lost every cent. I told no one.

I got certified in tech. I lied about my test results. I barely remember how to do any of it.

I told people I had a frontline job. I didn't. I volunteered.

I've been withdrawn from academic upgrading two or three times. I told no one that either.

Every single lie was built on the same thing, shame. Shame from my childhood, shame from my timeline not looking like everyone else's. I thought if I constructed a version of myself that looked successful, I could outrun what happened to me. Instead it ate me alive. The lies compounded. They got heavier. They attracted people that weren't good for me.

I am a liar. That is my confession.