Vent

My SD (5) has been coming over on weekends and when asked what she did throughout the week (BM has Mon-Thurs, Dad has every weekend from Fri-Sun) she says nothing that she does not have permission to say because her mom will discipline her.

We have had similar situations in the past where the child has expressed bodily harm from her SF, so DH spoke to BM and she has vehemently stated that is not the case and that physical discipline is not used in the home, pretty much writing SD off as a liar.

SD went home tonight and told BM that she does not have permission to speak to her about what happens in our home because I - Stepmother would get upset. (NOTE: I no longer spend more than about an hour at a time with the child when here because of BM, I love the kid, I’ve known her since she was a tot, but my sanity is above dealing with crazy on a daily)

BM texted frantically asking for an explanation as to why SD has been told such things and that she does not ask SD to get personal details about our life, but more so to bond with her daughter and brought up that taking her to church does no good if we are asking her to hide things from her (BM). DH responded that this was a topic he had previously brought up with BM, but the other way around and that he nor I have told the child such a thing, he mentioned to her to tell the truth and to not lie anymore, but that he no longer brings up the conversation (with BM) because when confronted she (BM) what SD says about her household is never true. (This is all documented, but no longer felt the need to bring up for fear of interrogation to the child)

Well, the fear came true. BM lost it and recorded a voice memo interrogating the child asking if DH hits her and why she would tell DH she is not allowed to speak about what is done at her house if she never said that, she asked why she said I told her and if it was the truth or a lie and that she shouldn’t lie because “Jesus is watching.” DH responded with “why is she still awake” since it was almost 12 am, and got left on read.

It’s a hard listen, and my heart breaks for this kid.
This is out of my scope.