Being cheated on made my problems even worse.

I have CPTSD from abuse and SA. I thought I met someone amazing last year and then he cheated on me. This was right during the passing of my beloved dogs. I have never felt so alone. Most days I am barely making it thru the day. My nervous system feels ruined. I was already looking over my shoulder and didn’t feel like I could trust anyone. I’m also very afraid of men now more than I have ever been. I have panic attacks constantly, I lost 20 lbs from not eating and laying in bed all day, and my heart feels permanently broken. It’s been almost a year and every day is hard. I just have zero faith or trust in everyone. I’ve been so depressed and I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m literally laying in bed crying myself to sleep again. My self esteem is non existent. I’m not even sure what to do. I can’t afford therapy or meds right now but I need some sort of help.