Lovergirl final boss

Hey chat, it’s been wild. Over the past two years I went from healing after a failed long-term relationship -> coasting through casual dating on the apps with a roster -> deleting the apps and fully owning my single girl era -> unexpectedly meeting someone and falling hard only to spectacularly fuck it up all the way to being heartbroken and swearing off men altogether.

People always say the universe moves in weird ways and the best ones come along when you’re not even looking. Annoyingly, I’ve found that to be true more than once. And I think it might be happening again.

So there I was, deep in my heartbreak fog, when along comes a new challenger and friends… he is exactly my type 😭 Tall, dominant, tattooed, a bassist (musicians will always be my kryptonite lawdddd), concert-goer, funny as hell, has a cat and a dog. We met at a gig I randomly decided to go to because apparently when I’m healing, I cope by collecting side quests to distract myself and feed my soul. Current lineup includes spin class, photography, raves, bouldering, pottery, and drawing lol.

We’ve only been on a couple dates so it’s still very early, but he seems sincere. I mentioned I’d been watching The Testaments, and for our first date he brought me Margaret Atwood books with cute notes he wrote in the margins. I told him about my history without dumping everything on him, and he said he’s happy to meet me where I’m at. It feels really nice to be seen, wanted and treated gently.

But damn, I’m tired hahaha. The last one really did a number on me (my fault, but still) and it’s probably too soon. I told him as much, and he said he can be patient. I’m trying not to become cynical. I’m trying to find the balance between opening up and protecting myself. But also… aren’t they always sweet in the beginning? 🙃

Still, he says we can take it slow and just enjoy each other’s company, so I’m choosing to take that at face value for now. Wish me luck 🥲

I think the biggest thing I’m learning through all this is that healing can also be about letting yourself stay soft anyway. About accepting that love will always carry risk, but refusing to let disappointment turn you into someone closed off, bitter or afraid to be seen. Maybe we shouldn’t avoid heartbreak entirely and keep believing that connection is still worth trying for, even after it breaks you a little. 🥹🫶🏻