day 3 of having constant nightmares and flashbacks

And realizing that all i have wanted in this life was someone to just care about me. But no matter what my needs are always troublesome for everyone!

I remember when i was about 7 i had the same nightmares and i felt the same, i literally felt so scared everyday in my life and everytime i needed somebody with me to feel safe nobody took my fears seriously. I dont know how to describe this feeling, it feels like somebody is going to hurt me and that i need somebody to be here with me so that i would feel safe but nobody ever does, and i hate this because even if i would trust others it doesnt matter because they would traumatize me again somehow. even when everything is okay i find how to self sabotage everything. I feel so scared i just need somebody to talk to