It’ll be 7 years this year..

It feels WILD to say that he (42 LLM) and I (40HLF) haven’t had sex in nearly 7 years now. It’s been this wild rollercoaster of emotions and then giving up, considering cheating, giving up again, and now I’m in this weird place where I’ve just accepted that I’m not meant to be happy. I know THAT sounds incredibly depressing too.

I’d leave but nobody is dating a single mom in her 40’s and I don’t know if I could ever introduce a man into my daughter’s life anyway. And who could afford it in this economy. I stay for her but she’s nearly 6 and starting to ask why we aren’t married and if we’re getting married and I just can’t. I can’t commit to this and yet I feel so permanently stuck. Eventually I’m going to have to just go, I know that.

The saga of how we ended up here is wild. It wasn’t always like this. Sex used to be incredible.. 4-5 times a week, multiple orgasms, no complaints. Now he falls asleep on the couch and has never had the balls to actually ever tell me why. I gave up on trying to fix it or talk about it.. he just goes quiet.

Now I get my distractions from throwing myself into work, the gym, being a mom. He’s just an NPC these days.