What do I do?

I (19F) was born and raised in the church and I always hated it. Never wanted to be there. As I’ve gotten older and more aware, I’ve felt deeply uncomfortable with many teachings of the church. Especially anything to do with the temple. I definitely believe in Jesus and God, but not this church.

My family is very active in the church, but we are definitely not ordinary members. We’ve probably been called the “woke” family of the ward at some point in time.

I love my parents, and they are super supportive of me and whatever decisions I make, but I’ve been constantly pestered about getting my patriarchal blessing and paying my tithing. I am highly uncomfortable with both, and have expressed this multiple times. I’ve even gone as far as to lie about paying tithing just to avoid a conflict. I’m still basically forced to go to church on Sunday, and I’m glad that I get to see my friends, but I feel like even though I should have free will in this, I don’t.