Ex has destroyed his relationship with our children

My ex is a difficult man.
Our daughter is 11 and has high support needs autism (asd3) and ADHD. Last year, our 19 year old son disclosed abuse of our daughter and moved in with me full time, and went no contact with his father.

I made multiple attempts to contact their father and ask questions about her care. She was becoming extremely mentally unwell in his care, and finally our daughter’s psychiatrist reported to CPS and I withheld custody of our daughter. She has been solely in my care since the start of November. He refuses to do family therapy, mediation or reply to my messages. CPS check in with me regularly and our daughter is slowly recovering from the abuse.

He sent me one message in December telling me to return her, but apart from that I have had no contact from him. Due to CPS advising me to retain her, I contacted family violence supports and reached out for the appropriate assistance for all three of us.

I have been granted legal aid but I am unable to find a lawyer who will take my case due to reduced capacity Australia wide.

I applied for carers payment here in Australia and had to prove to the government that I had sole custody. Child support updated in April and he was to pay me $1000 a month.

He and his new partner had a child at the start of April, and he contacted child support to refute the arrangements, stating that he did not have to pay the full amount as we had 50/50 court orders.

I spoke to them today and they advised that he has no grounds to refuse payment and must pay me the $3000 due. I get so anxious calling them and speaking of what he has done. I am afraid of him due to the anger he has demonstrated towards me and his refusal to communicate and coparent with me. Seeing what both kids have been through, recovering from his psychological cruelty, I realised that even though I left him almost ten years ago, I am afraid of him due to the abuse he subjected me to during our twelve year marriage.

I have a family violence worker and it is going ok, but I am in shock that he is behaving like this. I knew he was mean but I didn’t think he was this cruel. Some of the children’s trauma comes from the horrendous way he spoke about me since our separation. I had no idea. I knew he didn’t like me but I thought he was a better person and parent than this.

The next steps are child support attempting to get the debt repaid, and if he doesn’t, they’ll contact his workplace as per Australian law and gain the balance directly from his employer.

It scares me to do all this and it’s also so sad. All I wanted was for us to have a congenial relationship and care for our kids. I don’t hate him but I am very sad he’s chosen to behave like this and let his hatred of me completely detonate his relationship with our kids.

And nobody cares!! My parents are silent, I’ve had to cut off my two sisters. They all think I’m the problem. It’s so crazy. I was right about everything and the kids were scared of him, like I was. I wish I wasn’t right. I wish it didn’t have to be like this. But I will not allow him to continue to perpetrate this abuse. It ends with me. My kids are safe.