TW closeted transmasc rant :c

Somedays being a closeted transmasc is so tiring.

I wanted a wolfcut but the hairdresser feminized it, when I clearly showed a masc one. Now I don't dare to ask to cut it again and masc this time, so I'm kinda giving up on that......

I want to dress masc, but I don't know how to ask for clothing in the men's section instead without coming out ;_; I got two men shorts and a few oversized shirts though, so I almost only wear these.

I'm completetely disconnected from feminity, yet my mom and grandma keeps telling me "women things" I don't even relate to.

All I know is that I'm NOT a woman. And every times I'm being called one I'm mentally taking a stab 😔

I didn't even came out as nonbinary... I can't handle feeling judged by close ones, so I just shut up and let me be myself online.