Music Autists, Please Help Me Learn Piano

Hello. I have an electric keyboard at home. I have wanted to learn music for years. I have attempted to play the guitar in the past, but it didn't *click* in my brain. I am certain there is some conceivable way to make music make sense to my head, but I haven't found it and I have no clue where to look. Regardless, I desperately want to learn how to play this fucking keyboard so I can learn some of my favorite songs and maybe one day even make my own. I don't want to take lessons irl because social anxiety, money, and this is something I want to pursue fairly privately.

Please link me youtube videos, articles, any and all resources that you have found helpful or think might be helpful. Thank you and love y'all!