i'm crashing out - how can i be more involved?

before i start, i want to clarify that i am a 16 year old who is just trying to figure stuff out. and this post is basically just a rant so forgive me if i seem ignorant or anything.

this is a new account i just made on reddit due to losing my old login. but, after not wanting to come on reddit for a year or so, this is the only place i can share my thoughts.

i live in british columbia, which isn't low on left-leaning people but however my community is so right that i genuinely feel drained every day and i lose more and more hope in society. there is nobody i can talk to about anything politically related. i feel like everyone around me is so desensitized to everything in the world that they physically cannot care, and being literally the only person who has the morals and values that i do, i feel so utterly hopeless and alone.

i try to engage in any leftist communities that i can, but even then, it feels like there is nobody when you are surrounded by capitalists who recoil at you when you utter a single left related thought. currently, i'm caught up with american news and i just feel so much rage because why do people not care? why are we not mad enough? why does it feel like i'm the ONLY person who is mad enough about everything from the genocides to the corrupted system.

the more i think about it, the more i start to see how capitalism is in absolutely everything in my life and it pisses me off so much. i don't want to have an iphone from apple, nor do i want to wear clothes from fast fashion brands even if they were gifted to me from friends. but, what can i do about it? i feel so useless. i can't do anything but simply accept what's handed to me. i can't throw away my iphone or any devices from corrupt corporations because in the future-shocker- i'm going to NEED a device to survive. cons of the digital revolution, right? i have no choice unless i want to be homeless and just die.

i hate everything and i don't know how to cope with it. i want to be more involved in communities that share my values, but i have no idea where to look at all. sure, online places like this definitely exist, but that's all it is. this might be too far but i despise everything digital. all i want is true human connection and at this point i may just give up everything and succumb to the capitalistic society. but that gets me thinking, isn't this just what they want me to think?

so my mind is just jumbled and i don't even know what to think anymore. sorry for the rant, this is just my weekly spiral. i am hoping to know if anyone shares any similar feelings, experiences, any suggestions or literally anything at this point.