I’ve increasingly become such a bitter person because of just general shitty life and I don’t want to be

I actually hate waking up and realizing Iive to live another day

i live the US in bum fuck Mississippi I’m a female in my mid 20s I hold a degree but I’m in student loan debt and work federal minimum wage as a lab tech , i hate everything about this job the pay sucks ass I feel like a wage slave and the long hours are starting to be hard on my back and legs I’ve been getting muscle spasms in my legs for standing up for too long but I don’t have goddamn health insurance and I hate the chemicals I work with I think they’re toxic and effecting my health But I haven’t been able to find another job. im so scared to lose this job even though this job is absloute dog water because jobs are few and far between these days i apply and have gotten nothing but opportunity in ms is very little.

im trying to get away im thinking of grad school but then i get thrown into the loophole of loans again

i currently live with roommates in a trailer, atleast im not homeless.. deadass

im still bitter as fuck about my ex boyfriend too and it’s hindering my life bad, we were together for 9 years we had couple issues but it was fine until he became a crazy religious cult person and cheated on me with some fuck ass chruch girl whos his fiance now And they be rolling in the dough Im still not over that situation, because you know about small towns EVERYONE knows everyone and rumours spread and sometimes I run into them and everyone knows the tea and I just want to run away and cry they kind of scare me and make me un easy about going in public because I’m scared to run into them or ppl that they know I think it’s making my life turn out for the worse

i Really don’t want to be bitter about my life I really don’t like it could be worse I can be homeless and I don’t want to be bitter at them either because bad juju and I don’t like avoiding public because it actually scares me to run into them because I think its making my life harder but I don’t know this feels like a bad hand