should i tell him i want to get back together?

my ex broke up with me a few weeks ago, pretty rudely, didn’t give me the opportunity to respond, then left the country…it was rough. i was really confused, because there’d been no signs i picked up on. the reason he gave was because i (21f) want to be a lawyer, and he (21m) wants kids before 30. weird reason, okay, but weirder still that this wasn‘t communicated to me before this. when i tried engaging, he totally shut me down, then said “do i need to spell it out?” i was shocked, because other than that, he’d been quite caring and respectful.

i texted him after he left and said i was hurt by the way he handled it. two days later he apologized and said i was right and he made a mistake. he said he made a rash decision out of stress and limited time. i believe him, but that’s not a justification. there’s no stability in a relationship with someone who’s willing to leave without first trying to communicate their concerns.

i said i’d be open to a conversation in person when he gets back in-country. he was open to it, but confused as to why i needed it to be in person. in anger, i said ”i’m not going into this conversation looking to work through it as your partner, because i’m not your partner.” after that, he didn’t want to talk anymore.

so he gets back, i go to him in person (we attend the same church) and say “i think it’s really important we talk.” that night i get a message saying he thinks it’s a good idea, too. so we set a day to talk on saturday. he asks to postpone day-of. i’m like, sure, earliest i can do is wednesday. he’s like, why not sunday? i’m like, i have plans after church on sunday, but i can postpone them if it’s important to you. he says wednesday works.

sunday rolls around, and me and my friends hang out. monday rolls around, i confirm the time were meeting wednesday. he asks if i still want to talk. in my head i’m like, of course, that’s why i’m confirming the time. but instead i ask him why he thinks i don’t want to talk. he says he doesn’t see why we should, and that anything i want to say i can over text.

at this point, i’m emotionally exhausted. i hadn’t told him that a part of me wants to try again, because i’m concerned that he seemed to only show respect for me within our relationship, and i want to see how he’ll treat me as someone who’s not with him and whether he’s able to be respectful. i talked to our pastor, who said my ex might not see the point in talking to an ex without the possibility of getting back together.

should i tell him a part of me wants to, but that i need this conversation first? or should i just take his behaviour as an answer to just move on?