I (28f) have been dating a guy(28m) who is absolutely incredible but lacks ambition, is this worth pursuing?

I have been seeing this guy for about 8 months now. We still haven’t made it ‘official’, he lives about 4 hours away so it’s given us time to slowly get to know eachother. He is amazing, emotionally he is the most mature man I’ve ever met. He shows up for me, is consistent, caring, generous, kind, funny. When it comes to the emotional aspect of our relationship, he’s everything I could ask for. The sex is also amazing. I’m so grateful for him because he’s so much calmer and more of a steady rock than anyone I’ve ever dated. As someone who is deep in her head & emotions, he is truly amazing in how he shows up. He genuinely loves me and shows me in the ways that make me feel loved too.

I am incredibly ambitious, have a ton of hobbies, go to the gym regularly, eat really healthy / cook most my meals, own a business, work another job, think critically, constant research, tons of goals.
We share music as a common interest, we met at a concert.
He does work hard at his job but part of that happened over time of us being together. Other than that his hobbies are video games. He doesn’t really have many goals, dreams, etc. I’ve never seen him set a goal for himself, let alone set up ways to better himself, learn new things. Any changes he has made has been basically because of me. His room is bland, he doesn’t put effort into keeping his care or life clean. He just likes to sit, a lot and play video games. Plays the same video game he has for the last 10 years if not more. He likes sports but again, just sits in front of a tv. He’s just very stagnant, kind of sits around and doesn’t strive for more. Health is REALLY important to me, my dad was stagnant and I watched him die an awful slow death. He also doesn’t strive mentally to learn new things.

When I ask him if he’s interested in learning more, knowing more, etc. He basically admits no, he’s content. I sometimes have really intricate conversations with friends about our thoughts on the world, on energy work, plant medicine, developments in modern technology / science, etc. He has basically said when I bring these things up that he doesn’t really have interest in researching or knowing more on these topics. He tries to do things I want but I don’t want to change him or force him either.
Yet he still does make me really happy. I’m just worried that in the long run if this becomes a bigger issue I could be hurting him if I’m not in it. Especially because right now we live so far away / don’t see eachother often.
He does want to do things with me, just not on his own (what he says). I’m just worried it will just be my life goals and no one to bounce off of or feel inspired by. Will this overtime be an issue? Can I look past his ambition because other than that he’s everything I’ve wanted in a man?
I overthink a lot and I’m worried I’m the problem.

Posted May 12, 2026, 6:15 AM UTC

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