how do you grow your hair and retain length while still wearing wash and gos?

I have thick 3C/4A curly hair and I’m struggling with fairy knots and split ends. I take vitamins/prenatals + vitamin D, get regular trims, and try to take care of my hair, but somehow I notice split ends again super quickly after trimming.

I love wearing my hair curly in wash-and-gos and don’t want to live in protective styles 24/7 just to retain length. For people with similar hair types who grew long healthy hair while still wearing wash-and-gos, what helped?

Things I’m wondering:

• How often do you wash?
• Do you diffuse or air dry?
• What products helped with moisture + hold?
• How do you prevent fairy knots?
• How often do you trim?
• Do you stretch your hair at night?
• Is there a way to keep curls defined without causing tons of tangles/single-strand knots?

I feel like every time my hair starts growing, the ends start splitting again and I lose progress.