Feeling lost in my mind

For some time now, I’ve been struggling with the feeling that I am the root cause of every problem. Driven by a need to change, I find myself retreating and 'disappearing' from everyone I know. However, when I eventually try to re-enter the lives of those I used to laugh and talk with, everything feels different. I find it nearly impossible to talk to them anymore; I feel a deep sense of betrayal, and that feeling is physically and emotionally making me sick. Also my mind keeps going blank time to time is all of this mean something or it's just normal?