I fundamentally don't enjoy being alive

I feel like that's what it all comes down to isn't it. I don't enjoy anything that a human is conventionally supposed to enjoy. The combination of anhedonia and the paradox of both craving but also being uncomfortable with social contact feels like it's impossible to ever be okay with life. I don't enjoy having a job, grinding for money, paying taxes, socializing or hedonism, which is what society seems to be mainly built around. As such I have no idea where to go or what to do. I have been through the whole 'do something' phase chasing achievement, connection and making my dreams a reality so I can't even blame my problems on lifelong self-isolation. The most defeated moment of my life may have been joining a sports team, training for years, placing well and getting a medal and feeling absolutely nothing. I'm not suicidal because I worry what comes after life may be even worse. Other humans may as well be aliens. Therapy has been absolutely useless and meds just made me worse. I feel like a formerly caged animal or robot just going in circles, doing things not because I enjoy them or need them but because what else is there.