I don't know if I'm hypersexual

I might be hypersexual, I just want to know

Here's my story I already used it once.

I don't know if I'm hypersexual but there's times where I sexualize myself with people/or family members that I'm really close to like my older brothers, I feel disgusted, but mostly fictional characters, I almost got rap3d when I was a child so I don't know what to think of it and I also saw my sisters and my older brother I won't say his name but that's not the one I originally sexualize with I sexualize with my other two older brothers but I don't do it anymore because I feel horrible and disrespectful and disgusting I hate it! So these two of my brother's on of them is young and he kinda looks like me but he's still older...they care about me deeply that's why I sexualized them because I didn't know what I was doing and I would always cry after just rubbing my thighs or just digging my nails on my breast typing this out makes me cry.

I'm so sad they're always busy and can't call me. I also get jealous...I hate myself for being such a closet perv...I also thought about getting rap3d by a clowns...or just scary things...I also experienced watching my father rap3ing my mom when they used to be together she was asleep and he was awake on top of her and I could hear him and I was crying...I also saw my older brother do it with some of my sister's...I'm still a virgin but I heavily sexualize myself with older man...I want to get nurtured.